Photo from Dream Catcher
by NaomiiBoxPhotography
August 26, 2014
I was sitting in front of her. She looks dainty and beautiful beside your little girl. I was staring at her with the conscious effort to hold myself back as the furious tornado chest said its warning. It was a solemn ceremony but inside me was a raging bull.
A few minutes have passed and she gestured someone from the crowd that famous ‘its time’ hand-signal. It was time to send you away with balloons and butterflies perhaps and I was not ready.
In a twinkling, I found you lying down right next to me in your beautiful suit. I suddenly felt like there’s something warm against my elbow. When I looked down, my skin was pressing against your forehead. –You were still warm, love. You opened your eyes and looked around – “Is it time?” you asked. My eyes became waterfalls at the sight of you. “Why did you leave me?” I asked – There was no answer -only that loving look from you.
You held me tight. You kissed me with the kisses that have not changed. “I miss you”, you said. You started enumerating the list of the songs you said were ours but you reckoned the floral girl’s playlist. I was angry; I walked away from you to that edge. I went over the bars to see if falling down from the top won’t hurt. And there you were telling me to come back. You asked me to step to the safety side through the curved bars. You held my hands. You embraced me to safety. – Then I saw the lady who held your final days to her keeping; she looked at me with teary eyes and a beautiful smile, “it’s alright you know, talk to him”.
I walked away. I crossed the haunted street. The day was dull with skies like oil-stain on white linen. I reached to my pockets for that box of cigarettes – checking for the wish stick you taught me about. Just before I could get it, I saw you crossing the street towards me wearing that grey shirt and dark blue pants. You looked at me with those doleful eyes and the smirk that usually goes with it. A few people passed by from across the street and you waved them goodbye. You looked at me again and gave me a cigarette, “Let’s smoke our stars for wishes, shall we?” –a picturesque of us just like when I was with you three full moons ago.
Why was it so vivid? Are you scared that it’s about time to go? You must be. I am scared for you, too. But I’ll smoke one cigarette for thirteen days if that’s what you wanted. On the final day; I’ll fly you a sky lantern like a firefly, I’ll fly the void you left in my chest that could never be filled -I’ll fly you my endless love…
